Goals, and how to reach them

We have all the resources needed to make a change. (NLP principle)

What usually happens when we do not achieve the goals that we have set for ourselves, when our goals elude us or when we live a life we are not satisfied with? Usually we tend to accuse other people or the environment, the country in which we live, the time in which we create something (30 years ago it was easier, right?), or we blame ourselves. All in all, we look for a million reasons why we have not managed to achieve something that is important to us and we strive for, and we allow our goals to get away.

If we only remember a little of what we believed as children, we will know that we believed that anything was possible, and that we are destined for great things, and that, when we grow up, we can become anything we want. Growing up, we somehow managed to forget what we could have done or we believed that we can do. Our goals are getting smaller and smaller. We are satisfied living a life in which we impose boundaries to ourselves. We allow ourselves to believe that our success depends on external circumstances, luck or we forget that we have all the resources needed to make a change.

A positive attitude and faith without limitations are crucial for the achievement of our goals,  is the opinion all successful people have in common. In addition, we reach for the resources that can be external or internal.

What are actually resources and how to achieve goals?

It may be something material like money, office space to start your own business, car, it can be friends, relatives, neighbors. Some of our own characteristics, like ease when establishing contact, eloquence, sales skills, knowledge, or simply our intuitive sense for business. Perhaps it’s enough to remember people from our environment that are good at their business, so we can copy a good strategy.

Belief in our potential to achieve something, even if we’re not quite sure how we’re going to do it, is the first and most essential step of the path to achieving our goals. The reason for this is quite simple, consciously or unconsciously, our goals are in line with what we have in ourselves or what we can reach or achieve by learning. No one can affect how we feel about our decisions if we do not let them.

When we notice that we need more skills which we do not yet have, we will go and learn them, whether it relates to a foreign language, computer skills, project management or sales skills, for example.

The first step is to find our strengths and to nurture them, to believe and expand our knowledge and skills, and make the success largely dependent on us, not other people or circumstances. The goals are then really ours.

As we grow and develop, it’s expected that our goals grow with us. If goals are realistically set, the successes we achieve will give us the greater number of choices and more self-confidence.

Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP, says: “Everyday, people come to me and tell me that they absolutely do not trust themselves.”

For the end, I will paraphrase the words of Henry Ford: “If we ourselves do not believe that something can be done in our lives, who will then believe in us? If we believe, somehow the whole universe will conspire to support us. In both cases, we are right.”

Jelena Kantar Kostić, NLP Master

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